Everything is trying to kill you
In the whole year I spent in Australia I came across funnel web spiders (the deadliest in their kind) at least zero times and brown snakes (also the deadliest in their kind) maybe once when a farmer took me into his shed to point it out to me. They’re literally everywhere! Of course we came across a few gigantic non-deadly spiders (google huntsman if you dare) and snakes but like the Aussies said when we would ask them if they were dangerous: “They wont kill ya!” We did actually see a lot of dead brown snakes on the roads, killed by an even more dangerous species: THE HUMAN SPECIES….
Here’s a python (“it won’t kill ya!”) that we came across on a campsite one day:
The endless summer
If you plan your trip well you can have summer weather all year round in Australia. Sounds awful right? Warm temperatures, the sun, not having to wear jackets or shoes, a pretty suntan , … Who wants that when you can have the pretty gray Belgian skies!
At the beach in Australian winter:
The empty beaches
In Australia there are so many long stretches of beach with hardly any people on them. You would totally get lonely there! No, Blankerberge beach or the Costa Brava are so much better, at least you’d have some (or some thousand) people to talk to.
The almost empty beach in Broome:
The mean people
Those Aussies are known for being unkind aren’t they? They just never talk to foreigners. They will not ask you where you’re from. They won’t tell you stories about their euro trips and how they once have driven through Belgium. They won’t invite you into their homes. And they sure as hell don’t like barbeques and beers. No fun at all!!
Here’s some photos of the very few friends I’ve made in Australia:
The sickeningly fresh fruits and veggies
I developed an avocado addiction in Australia which is very hard to maintain in Belgium. Over there you could buy them fresh and ripe in the supermarket. Over here it takes some patience if you want to eat a good avocado. But who needs those! They aren’t good for you anyways! Just eat Belgian fries every day, so much better! And all those exotic fruits we don’t have here: dragon fruit, custard apples, mangos, passion fruit,… Better not try them, they’re no good at all!
Eating custard apple fresh from the tree on the farm:
The real reason why you should never ever go to Australia is because it’s the most beautiful place on earth, you’ll fall in love with it and no other place will ever touch you heart like Australia has…